Monday, November 11, 2013

"Finding Infinity" - Teaser Three

Your teaser number three... "Finding Infinity" will be available through Amazon on November 26.

I look back at the thirty-year-old girl in the mirror. The facade is simply gorgeous. She’s had a team of people working on her for over three hours.
The real girl has on something called Lipo in a Box that’s supposed to take ten pounds off of your figure, lift your butt, and flatten your stomach. I can barely breathe. My face feels like I have pancake batter smeared on it. My “natural” looking hair has been hair sprayed within an inch of its life. The only thing about me that’s real is my necklace, which I refused to take off, even after the stylist threw a fit, and my rings. The diamond earrings weren’t an issue, because, well, they’re so big that they look fake.
My stomach is in complete knots. I haven’t been able to eat, because I’m afraid that I’ll be sick. This is the first time that Colin and I’ve attended a public event together since the interview with Allison Katz aired. We’ll be expected to pose on the red carpet for the photographers to catch us from every angle. I’ve also been told that the dress designer expects me to pose by myself. That sounds terrifying.
Blogs and websites have developed a rather sick fascination with us as a couple. One was kind enough to post a picture of Colin and me from college. It must have been taken after his last game during his senior year. His long arm was wrapped around me, tucking me into his side. He’s a sweaty, hot, beautiful mess. He was still in his A&M uniform. I think the game had just ended. His pads made him look even larger than he actually was. I look like a child compared to him. My caramel-colored hair was blowing in the wind, and I was looking up at him adoringly. It’s a ridiculously cute picture. In fact, I would frame it, if I could get a high enough resolution copy of it.
 It was before I got really sick. My eyes were still bright and shiny, and I looked so happy. Healthy. I was in love with the man whose side I was pressed against. I was never going to leave him. I never saw a future without Colin in it.
Little did I know that, just over a year later, I would tell him goodbye for what I thought was my new forever.
Next to that picture was a photo taken of Colin and me, leaving a restaurant in New York. He’d finished up shooting his last underwear campaign ever, and we were celebrating. Colin had on a suit that was tailored perfectly to him. His light blue dress shirt and grey tie made his eyes translucent green. We’d been forty-five minutes late for our dinner reservation because I couldn’t keep my hands off of him. It was the night that I’d given him his engagement ring.
I’d left the photo shoot earlier in the day, because seeing him sitting there in nothing but a pair of white underwear was maddening. But then, when the director had him dropping back, as if he was going to throw a pass in nothing but his tighty whities, I thought that I would lose my mind. That beautiful man was mine. Mine alone. He’d given all of that up so I would be the only girl to see him that way.
I’d channeled my sexual frustration into a great day of shopping. In fact, I’d purchased the dress that I had on in the picture. I could have sworn that it looked great on me. I even took a picture of me in it, and sent it to Brad for his approval before I bought it.
However, when I saw me in the dress next to Colin, I agreed with the reporter’s statement. “Colin McKinney has only gotten hotter with age, but what’s happened to Charlie? Time has not been kind to her. They say that love is blind.”
Seeing the pictures side by side, I can really tell that I’ve aged. I’m probably fifteen pounds heavier than I was in college. My face is definitely fuller. My arms look fat. Seriously? How did I get fat arms? I didn’t even think that was possible. Apparently, I need to add weight training to my exercise routine.
Don’t get me wrong. I know logically that I’m not overweight, but I look thirty in the picture, and Colin looks like an ageless god.
Then, because I can’t stop myself, I read the comments section. The first one said, “Maybe he’s gay, and she wares a strap-on for him.”
Okay. That’s just dumb. I disregard the comment, because that person is clearly an idiot. “It’s ‘wears’ not ‘wares,’” I said to the screen. As if the person could hear me.
I read the next one. “I never understood what he saw in her. She was ugly in college.”
I can objectively look in the mirror and know that I wasn’t ugly then, and I’m not unattractive now. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The next comment actually took my breath away. “Maybe a good run at anorexia would do Charlie some good.” That comment hit me right where it hurts.


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